Lisa Math BSc, CRPS-F Director, Family S.T.A.R. program Family Network on Disabilities

Our role as parents is to instill many lessons in our children to prepare them for life as an adult. Lessons begin early in the child’s life and continue past the age of majority. But parents often overlook the necessity to impart self-advocacy skills and the need to begin this education early in a child’s life.

What are self-advocacy skills?

In short, self-advocacy is the ability to speak up for one’s self. When advocating for yourself, you are able to ask for what you need and want, and develop a plan to achieve your goals. Individuals who self-advocate enjoy a better quality of life, know how to properly express their feelings, and are empowered to make their own, and often better, decisions.

Where do parents begin with their child?

There are several areas in which parents can support their youth to develop these skills. First, the youth needs to know oneself. Help your child to learn everything they can about their needs, strengths, and challenges. Secondly, parents can help guide the youth to identify their needs and wants, and create plans to meet their goals. Lastly, parents can help a child determine what they need to do to make it happen.

Strategies to support your child’s self-advocacy

Self-advocacy skills can be taught at a very early age. And the more parents create opportunities for children to practice these skills, the easier the skills become and the more the child will venture into more self-advocacy experiences. Even as toddlers, children can learn to use their “voice” to get what they want in a productive and impactful way. Encourage children to practice this skill in different environments such as home, school, stores, libraries, etc. Let the child order their own food, ask about a specific book at the library, or even question the teacher about their work.

Here are some strategies to begin the process:

• Encourage self-awareness and growth opportunities

• Stay positive even if the child is frustrated or disillusioned

• Support areas of critical thinking and problem solving

• Develop future planning with goals and “plan B” thinking

• Find ways to support self-esteem growth

Areas to promote self-advocacy are vast

Areas for youth to develop their self-advocacy capacity abound. Not only can these experiences happen early in life, they continue throughout the child’s development, and will be present in every area of the child’s life. Parents can create scenarios and opportunities as well for role playing situations that may be less frequent (i.e.: travel experiences). Ask your child what areas they feel less confident in “speaking up for themselves” to gain insight for growth opportunities. Watch your child engage in different environments, different scenarios, and with different people, to find gaps in their self-advocacy. Here are some examples of common experiences and environments to promote their efforts:

• School (IEP meetings, 504 Plan meetings, PTSA, school projects)

• Extra-curricular activities (Girl/Boy Scouts, sports teams) • Babysitters/Aftercare (food options, activities)

• Doctor appointments (asking questions, scheduling appointments) • Employment (summer, part-time during school year)

• Restaurants (ordering, asking about menu items)

• Transition to adulthood (medical needs, employment interests, postsecondary education options, legal information)

Get support to support your role

Being a parent sometimes requires that we reach out to find the information we need to be our child’s best advocate and role model. By utilizing information and resources to support our role, we can enhance the journey for our children. Look for organizations, agencies, and support programs that offer you guidance and knowledge to help you guide your child’s development of their self-advocacy skills. There are local, countywide, statewide, and national resources available in various formats to meet your needs.

Lisa Math B.S., CRPS-F, is the Director of the Family S.T.A.R. (Support, Training, Assistance, Resources) Program for Family Network on Disabilities. Family Network on Disabilities is a state-wide non-profit organization that provides disability information, resources, training, and support to families, caregivers, youth to age 26, and to related professionals and providers in every county in Florida for no charge. Ms. Math is the parent of a young adult and has utilized this information to support her child’s emotional development and empower self-advocacy skills development.